Top 5: Movie Clunkers

by Rob Sass on Thursday, October 30th, 2014

It’s a lucky thing that ‘Cash for Clunkers’ was enacted after any of these movies were made.

These films would each have been a bit less amusing without their “star” cars.

1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 1979 Alfa Romeo Alfetta 2000 Sport Sedan: Ferris Bueller’s long-suffering best friend Cameron Frye “drove” this faded and rusty Alfa Romeo sedan, sort of anyway. He never really got it started. Best diagnosis from our Alfa Romeo fans is the failure of something called a thermostatic actuator. We’re not making that up. I swear.
2. The Big Lebowski – 1973 Ford Gran Torino: Jeff Bridges’ character Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski is a man that the narrator opined “might be the laziest man in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the running for laziest man worldwide.” He’s also a man who wrote a check in the amount of 69 cents for a carton of half and half and he drives a 1973 Ford Torino that was evidently some sort of shade of white, yellow, beige or gold prior to acquiring its as-filmed “patina” of rust, dents and primer spots.
3. Body Heat – 1964 Corvette: William Hurt plays an easily duped ambulance chaser of a Florida lawyer in this neo-noir classic. In addition to the fact that Kathleen Turner delivered a star-making performance in the film, we love it for the faded and disheveled but totally original Riverside Red ’64 Corvette convertible that Hurt’s character drives.
4. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective – 1972 Chevrolet Monte Carlo: Jim Carey’s character “Ace Ventura” obviously cares more about the animals he is searching for than the car he is driving. Things go south almost immediately for Ace as his Monte Carlo is pummeled shortly after the opening credits by an angry man with a baseball bat. He is forced to spend the rest of the movie driving around with his head hanging out of the window, much like his canine companions.
5. Joe Dirt – 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona: David Spade’s eponymous character drives a beat-to-hell ’69 Dodge Daytona, which probably gave at least a few MOPAR enthusiasts a stroke mid-movie. Like Mr. Dirt’s mullet, the Daytona is all business up front, party in the back, featuring an ultra-aerodynamic nose cone and a rear wing of comical proportions.

*Rob Sass is the vice-president of content for Hagerty Insurance. Hagerty is the world’s leading specialist provider of classic car and boat insurance. Learn more at hagerty.ca.